He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
