My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
