i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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