We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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