i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
