TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
