I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
