Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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