Apparently you make a good broom.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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