More tranny stories later!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
