Your face is a jimmy john
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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