He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
