how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm both gender and math confused
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
