Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
