I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
