sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
