so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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