Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
