wakey wakey hands off snakey
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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