she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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