Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize