Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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