did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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