Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize