My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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