There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
