dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
