puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
