You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
