he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
