i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
