We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he fucked my hip out of place.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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