she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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