We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
