i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
