I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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