is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
