Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
