Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
