It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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