you turned your livingroom into a bong?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
