the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
