So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
