He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So much rum. So many feels.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
These tits shall not be calmed
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
