One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
