But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you would pick up someone in the library
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
