Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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