Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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