some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
