He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
