so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
