Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
