Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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