Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just had sex bonerless
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize