i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
